Dear neighbour …

Dear neighbour …

Dear Neighbour

Imagine this for a moment. You’ve had a week from hell with work deadlines. You haven’t had any sleep because your infant is teething and you’ve had maybe 5 hours a night for the past week. As it is you’re waking up every morning with a massive headache and you’re so tired your eye balls are rolling around on the floor somewhere in the other room.

Friday night rocks around. Your little one is finally asleep and seems a bit more settled tonight. You’ve got your fingers crossed that you and hubby will finally get some sleep. You wish for 8 hours (hopefully with only 1 wakeup tonight) because this last week you’ve gotten 5 hours sleep in 5 broken chunks. You do the math here, 5 one hour stints at sleeping a night. Makes for happy and fun mama and papa bear? Not so much.

You manage to get to sleep by 11 because you’re so exhausted and the little one is still quiet…

Then at 2am you’re startled awake from your oh-so-needed slumber … thump thump thump thump … whathafa?

Keeping in mind for a moment that you’ve had no sleep this week, you’ve been asleep for 3 hours now all tucked up in your nice warm cosy bed AND the baby isn’t making a sound.

And the neighbours music starts thumping. AGAIN.

Now it’s not like this is a one time event dear neighbour. This happens 3 maybe 4 times a month and not always on the weekend. Sometimes it happens on a work night. Music pounding for hours at a time when we (and most of the country) would like to be sleeping. So you’ll please forgive me for not feeling particularly courteous after we’ve lain in bed for 3 hours wishing all manner of ill fates up on. However, there was a bonus in last nights events – there was a minimum of screaming and wahooing which so often accompanies these fun music filled interludes to our sleep.

After listening to your music between 2 and 5am. In case you can’t count, thats 3 (count ’em 1, 2, 3) hours of sleep time lost, hoping that you would have the decency to turn the music down. Hoping that it would stop in the next few minutes.

After 3 hours of this fruitless wishing and hoping, my hubby jumps out of bed, slams the front door and marches across the road. Banging on your door dear neighbour, demanding that you turn the music down. In case you’ve lost track, its nearly 5am and we’ve been awake listening to your music for 3 hours in the middle of the fucking night.

Dear neighbour you actually had the gall to follow him back to our home, and argued with me that we should have asked nicely and should be more courteous about our requests to turn down the music.

Just to recap so you may try and understand why we’re more than a little angry. We’ve been tucked up nice and warm in bed ASLEEP for 3 hours. We’ve been rudely woken by your music, been forced to listen to it for 3 hours and then expected to get out of bed, get dressed, walk calmly across the road and respectfully request that you turn down your music.

Again, I feel it’s necessary to remind you that it’s 5am and we’ve been listening to this bullshit for 3 fucking hours. Please note that I refrained from saying 5 fucking am, so you can see how courteous I really am.

So dear neighbour, you will not get respectfully or courtesously fucking anything at 5am.

I do however, respectfully request that you become a decent fucking human being and confine your fucking music to your own home.

Yours sincerely,

Noisy neighbours are an affliction suffered by so many of us. How do you manage yours? Share in the comments.