When those around you have big emotions

Some days it feels like everyone around you is melting down. They’re having panic attacks or big emotions that just can’t be contained. No matter how much you try to logic or rationalise to them, nothing brings them relief.

Add to that you’re own inability to deal with strong emotions, or inability to deal with feeling helpless. Or impatience with them for not just “getting over it”, or not being able to “fix it” for them. 

Wear the red lipstick

I’ve never worn red lipstick. I love the look, but I’ve never worn it. Why is that?

I could tell you it’s because I had yellow teeth and it didn’t suit me. But really it’s because I didn’t think that I could pull it off. It really comes down to confidence. 

I like Mel Robbins definition of confidence.

“Confidence is the willingness to try.” —Mel Robbins

This morning in the shower, I was thinking about the red lipstick. Thinking do I actually like it? Perhaps I don’t. 

And I realised that the reason that I thought I didn’t, was because I didn’t have feedback from others about whether they thought I could pull it off.

Then I thought about it. If no one else is involved, I f**king love red lipstick. 

So wear the red lipstick. What ever your red lipstick is, just f**king do it. 

When your brain talks shit …

The contents of my brain today:

I’m too ugly. I’m too fat. I’m too busy. I have nothing worthy to say. I’m uninteresting. I’m boring. People are mean. It’s all too hard. Nothing’s ever going to be easy. I’m shit at everything. I’m always going to be shit at everything. Nobody likes me. I shouldn’t feel so edgy. That just makes me needy. I’m not allowed to feel this way. I’m tired. I want to eat all the brownie.

Today has been emotionally draining. So I’m going to keep telling myself, you’re allowed to feel that way. It’s ok. It’s normal. It’ll pass. But fucking hell, it’s hard. And some days just suck. Tomorrow may be better. It may not be. But it will get better. Some days just suck. Be kind to yourself, it’s ok sweetheart.

Repeat after me: I’m allowed to take up space

Do you shrink away, make yourself smaller so you don’t get noticed? Yeah me too. And it’s something I’m trying to give up. I’m trying to own the space that I so dearly want to take up. So much so, that there’s a lot of mantras coming out me at the moment. From the last post we have ‘say fuck it and have a go’. But that can be tough when we don’t think we deserve to take up the space we need to do that. 

The art of creativity

Creativity is a concept that fascinates me. It has always seemed so elusive to my left brained, analytical self. Creativity. “the use of imagination or original ideas to create something; inventiveness.” Creating something from scratch, a thing that didn’t exist before. I equated creativity to painted works of art and fiction books, and I felt like I’d never have any ideas worthy of either pursuit. 

This was until I read The art of asking by Amanda Palmer, who introduced me to the idea that creativity is simply just connecting the dots in a way that hasn’t been done before. This then lead me on to reading many things about how to generate ideas, how to look for ideas in the ordinary, and how to connect the dots in new ways. 

13 things I’ve learned about creativity…

Book: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

 This is a short read. If you’re like me and a bit time (and sleep) poor at the moment, a short read is a good read. But don’t let it’s length fool you. It’s full of wonderful pearls of wisdom and butt kicking for the creative. 

Steven describes the Resistance as the power that gets in the way of us achieving the thing. That thing we dream about doing.

Offering up a list of things that spark the Resistance,  it includes writing, painting, music, art and other creative pursuits, diets, starting a business, spiritual advancements … you get the idea. The things we want to do to create something, or improve ourselves are the things that Resistance seeks to repress.