It’s the 22nd of June, the frosty morning was intense today. So much more frosty than it usually gets here. The days will start getting longer again now.
This month has been one of quiet, and it’s moving into peace for me now. There have been so many things I’ve been gripping tightly too, but I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve just got to let them go and play out as they will.
I’m in a bit of a melancholy space, being sick always does that to me. I feel as though I’ll never be fully well again. But this time, I intend to make the most of the downtime to rest and do what I feel called to do right now.
Currently…
In my space: (physical surroundings, environment) We’re well into the cold weather now. This morning the frost made it up our little hill and it was quite white outside. We haven’t had many where it’s made it up the hill, often it will sit out the front, but not be frosty all the way around us.
I’m in the lounge this morning, the fire is crackling away. D’s got his fire making system streamlined so it’s easy to start, and keeps us toasty and warm. The sun is shining, which is nice after the gloom of the fog all day yesterday.
Creating: (art, food, writing, projects) I’ve started journalling again. I’m fortunate that I’ve been able to get a new macbook air. It’s little and light, with a long battery life. And it’s a delight to park it on my lap on the couch and tap away at the keys, writing the thoughts that need to come out of my head. Some I share here, others are just for me.
Food, I’m always creating food. I love to cook. I love to eat. Though, what I’ve been making recently isn’t particularly exciting. I’m wanting food that’s fast to prepare. Fruitcakes are often made, D loves them. And some gluten free Pitta Breads, are easy and yum.
Today I’ll be making soup. I’m on the couch with the lurgy, and have been since Thursday night (it’s Sunday morning now). It’ll be a chicken and veg, with lots of green things, and all blended up. I might also make a lemon cake. We have so many lemons on the tree—they’re weighing the poor little tree down.
Learning: (new skills, lessons, insights) I’ve been learning about ghostwriting. I’ve always loved the idea of writing for a living, but had concerns about the viability of it. Ghostwriting is a possible avenue and I’m learning all I can about it right now.
Something that’s occurred to me in the last few days, well, not so much occurred to me, as I had a humbling re-realisation, that the things that annoy us most in life, are often the things we do or exhibit ourselves. We’re just unconscious about it, and continue doing it, and continue being annoyed by others who do it. What habits or traits most annoy you in others? You’re likely doing it too. So annoying 🙄 .
Reading: (books, articles, thoughts) I’ve been reading over some of my old posts here. I’ve had this blog since July 2014. 11 years, oh my. Besides my husband, kids and business, I don’t think I’ve ever stuck with anything so long. It’s a journey going back through the posts, to see my thoughts about what was going on at the time. It’s so lovely to see how you change over the years. I would have been 35 when I started this. The situations change, the ideas change, the values change, who you are changes.
I’ve been reading over some of the fiction I’ve written in the past. Most unpublished because it’s unfinished. Miss 11 loved reading over some of my work. As an avid writer herself, it was lovely to share some of my work with her. It was interesting for her to note how similar our writing styles are. We’re both conversational writers, her even more so than me.
I’ve been reading my usual style of books, though I listen more than I read these days.
Moving: (exercise, dance, walking) It’s been a minute since I’ve been out for a walk. I got sick about two and half weeks ago, and stopped walking because it was too much. I had a few days where I started feeling better, but then ended up sick with a different bug this time. I’ve been doing some feet strengthening exercises on the recommendation of my physical therapists. I’m still trying to resolve hip bursitis that has been bothering me for quite a few years now.
Lymph drainage is something I’ve started trialling as well. I’ve had sluggish detox for a long time, and looking at this in the next stage of trying to stay healthy.
Nurturing: (relationships, plants, self-care) Nurturing me has been the goal of the past few weeks. I’m in a phase of learning that I need to slow down, and take care of me in this weather that is a little hard on my immune system. Winter is meant to be a time of slowing down, nourishing foods that have been stored away for the cold season, time with your loved ones, activities that make you feel good.
I’m finding it a challenge to nurture anything beside me and my little family right now. The world is more expensive which means I need to work more to afford the bills, the cold has everyone going out sick and spreading their bugs. I’m still on the fence about terrain theory versus germ theory. I’ve researched it a little, but I feel as though it needs to be a balance of both. I eat a poo, I’ll get sick. I’m not sure my terrain will ever be good enough to with stand that. Gross example, but you know what I mean.
Then there is German New Medicine which is also a fascinating topic to look into.
Exploring: (places, ideas, possibilities) I feel as though I’m in a space of not exploring new ideas so much, for just a short while at least. I’ve experienced so many new ideas, and realisations about the world and myself, that while I’m healing from bugs, I’ll “just be” in the world for a while. I don’t need to be examining new ideas, or coming up with my own ideas.
I’m too tired and cold to explore anywhere outside of my home right now. It’s more internal exploration time. More journalling. More pondering who I am, and how I want to be in the world.
Celebrating: (achievements, moments, gratitude) We got the pleasure of celebrating our eldests wedding last month to his lovely wife. It was a beautiful ceremony, and the love they have for each was radiant. I had the honour of photographing it for them too.
It was my brothers birthday yesterday, the first since he passed in April. So I spent yesterday thinking of him, wondering how he may have changed as he got older. I’d noticed changes in him the past few years, for the better. Celebrating knowing him for the time I got to.
Releasing: (habits, thoughts, possessions) The lurgy! It can be gone. Right now.
I choose to believe that I need to spend more time at home (rather than out in crowds) doing things that nourish me and provide for my family. I’m not fearful about going out, but taking this as a sign that I need to be focused here instead.
Growing: (personal development, gardens, skills) I think I’m more in a time of percolating rather than growing. Just sitting. Just being.
The garden only got a couple of winter plants in this year. It’s just been one of those years where it didn’t happen for a range of reasons.
But lemons, we have so many lemons so I’ll be making cakes and slice. My favourite recipe for lemon slice is this one from Recipe Tin Eats.
Connecting: (people, nature, community) It’s a time for connecting with myself and my family. There’s been much loss this year. I think I’ve lost touch with myself, in the swamp that is grief and feelings. It’s been so heavy, and felt like more than I can bear at times. But I’ve kept going, because that’s all you can do.
I connect with other local business women monthly at a lunch I organise. It’s a lovely experience and they’ve all become friends.
Discovering: (insights, places, interests) I’ve been discovering new authors I love. A renewed passion for writing fiction, even though I haven’t gotten back to writing a lot yet. I foresee more writing in my future.
I’m imagining some paintings as well. I have a large canvas I’d like to paint in the second half of this year, so I want to experiment with the some paintings to see what I put on it.
Planning: (future projects, dreams, goals) I still feel like I’m in survival mode much of the time. Trying to heal body parts that are in constant pain, and living to work to pay the bills. It hasn’t left me much space for feeling into the other parts of life that I’d like to explore. Writing, painting, photography, gardening, exploring. Maybe soon.
Collecting: (memories, objects, inspiration) I’ve been collecting photos.
Simplifying: (space, schedule, commitments) Working on the couch with the new laptop has been feeling quite luxurious. I’m snuggled in my Oodie (it’s a fake one, the real one sare too heavy for my shoulders), a hot bag on my lap and my computer on my knees.
If I’m not pushing to be going out and doing things, I’m keeping my life simple. Work, good food, fun with my peeps, writing, learning new skills, and much reading. I’ll get back to walking once I’m feeling better, the lungs are still feeling a bit rusty.
Embracing: (changes, challenges, opportunities) I’m embracing the quiet, the sun and the peace. It’s a time for peace. And quiet. Time for turning off my phone, and making, or writing, or doing something that’s creating something. Not just consuming the scrolling things.
Savouring: (food, moments, experiences) D made a minestrone last night, with garlic bread. The first time we’ve had this soup in years. I’m not sure why. It’s such a hearty, nourishing soup.
Drinks are my usual honey and apple cider vinegar, fresh ginger slices with and salt, and chicken bone broth with extra marine collagen. My skin is loving it, looking fresh and healthy.
Practicing: (skills, habits, mindfulness) Practicing writing daily again. Journalling, just for me. Bringing the things up that want to be looked at right now.
Dreaming: (aspirations, wishes, possibilities) For more ease. And more energy.
Challenging: (assumptions, comfort zones, limits) Learning a new work skill is always fun. The challenging part comes when I want to put it into practice.
Thanks for joining my in my journalling rambles.
I hope you’re well and healthy, and if not, then make the most of the time you have by resting fully.
Love, Ky x
If you’re interested, you can copy the list out from the template in this post.
