A reflection of 2019 and what’s ahead for 2020

A reflection of 2019 and what’s ahead for 2020

I’ve been thinking about a lot of different things lately that impact my life. The type of work we do, and how we feel stuck and the lack of boundaries and planning that are keeping us in that stuck place. I’ve been thinking about the work we need to do, and the systems and processes we need to incorporate to get us unstuck. Running the numbers, we should be able to make a lot more money than we are, doing a lot less work than we are. Because I’m so tired. So we need to work smarter,  plan and systemise as much as we can. 

I’ve been thinking about making digital courses and what’s been stopping me so far. Making courses to teach people how to build their own websites has been an idea I’ve had for a long time, but I haven’t done anything with it. Why? Why have I been sitting on it for so long.

I have the usual excuses, I’m tired, I don’t have time. But there is something deeper than that. I’m stuck in a mentally blocked state where I just can’t move forward with anything. This realisation came when someone close to me who’s going through a touch time bought an air conditioner and got it installed inside of 2 weeks, and we realised that we’ve been putting up with shitty conditions in the office for over 2 years without doing anything about it.

I think I’ve just become so adept at being adaptable that I don’t think to actually get shit done. Or maybe it just doesn’t hurt enough for me to get it done. 

Because of it, I’m not living my best life. 

This year there are no fucks given about the wrong things (I’ve just finished The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson), it’s time to focus on what matters to me. “If you have a problem that can be solved with action, you don’t have a problem.” Mel Robbins. 

But first, I need to work out what really matters to me, and the type of life I want to lead. I’ve been quite blasé about it until this point in time. I make goals, but I then forget them. I write them down and put them away until the piece of paper pops up again a year later at about this time, and I think to myself, ‘oh, didn’t achieve them this year. Guess I can’t do it.’ But you know what? I can, and I’m going to. 

Step one on the road to where I want to be is to create a morning formula. This is an idea I got from the profitable designer podcast in episode 3. It’s a document that details your why, your values, affirmations, your goals and targets, and how you’re going to get there. You can add in any regular processes (daily or weekly formulas) to help you get there as well. I’ve started putting this document together for this year, and I’ve included a lot of quotes and advice from podcasters, authors and generally other wise folk to get me off to a great start each day. 

I’m feeling a bit funny about travel. I want to, but I’m tired. I enjoy it when I do it, but then I have a headache by the end of it. I feel like I exist, just to spend time in my head, whether it be learning something, reading, watching, thinking or writing. Not that I’ve been doing much writing. So I guess I’ve just been consuming. And to what end? Why am I consuming? I think it’s to hide from creating. Because when you create, and publish, you put yourself up for criticism. And I’m not sure I can take too much criticism these days. I’m too tired. Or you’re invisible. And I’m not sure I can cope with that either. Both shitty excuses, and I guess I need to work on both and change my focus for creating. 

One of the other things I’ve been pondering this morning, is that I write to know what I think. There are many people more wise than I that have said, I write to find out what I think. And for me, it’s so true. I really sort the out the crap in my head when I just start writing it down.

While I love the idea of doing a podcast or creating a vlog, I’d need to write it first anyway, just to know what I think. Finding the time to write for understanding, let alone throw in creating anything else is just beyond me right now, although I might add it as part of my morning routine. Regardless of writing or not, I’m keeping my list of ideas of topics to write about.

I figure I’ll be able to get to them one day, and I’ll at least have a list of ideas to choose from, which is much easier than starting with a blank page.

An idea that floated to the top for me this week is the idea of the big domino. The one big task, that if completed will make all other tasks easier or make them irrelevant. See extract from Tim Ferriss’s blog

“Because I’m looking for – and I’ve used this analogy before – the lead domino. I’m looking for the first domino. I don’t want to knock down 7,000 different dominoes that are downstream and have to repeat that process. I want to find the one Archimedes lever that, when used effectively, makes everything else either easier to do or irrelevant. That is what I will focus on, generally speaking. When in doubt, the thing that you’ve been avoiding the longest is the thing that you should at least do the hard thinking on first.”

2019 has been a year of doing what I need to get through. Work wise at least. My health and energy has been pretty shabby and slid downwards after being sick for two and a half months. And it’s been an emotionally difficult year for my little one as she adjusted to school life as a preppy.

It’s been new routines for both of us, new understanding for me of what support she needs. Work invoked a dreadful feeling of constantly chasing to catch up, without ever getting there. Although, the end of the year saw us working some very long days and weeks, and I feel as though for the first time since I had a tiny little baby, I have caught up. It’s a relief, yet it has left me feeling quite worn out.

So here I am, working out my morning formula document, setting goals for the year, figuring out the big domino and creating systems to knock that fucker over … and make life a little more focused on the good things. 


How is 2020 looking for you? What systems are you using to make it a great year?