When your brain talks shit …

When your brain talks shit …

The contents of my brain today:

I’m too ugly. I’m too fat. I’m too busy. I have nothing worthy to say. I’m uninteresting. I’m boring. People are mean. It’s all too hard. Nothing’s ever going to be easy. I’m shit at everything. I’m always going to be shit at everything. Nobody likes me. I shouldn’t feel so edgy. That just makes me needy. I’m not allowed to feel this way. I’m tired. I want to eat all the brownie.

Today has been emotionally draining. So I’m going to keep telling myself, you’re allowed to feel that way. It’s ok. It’s normal. It’ll pass. But fucking hell, it’s hard. And some days just suck. Tomorrow may be better. It may not be. But it will get better. Some days just suck. Be kind to yourself, it’s ok sweetheart.

All these thoughts came out when I started writing my journal today, I didn’t realise it until then, but they’d been circulating all day. Bringing me down, making me feel worse.

If you don’t journal, I highly recommend it. It’s a fantastic place to get the shitty first draft of thoughts and bullshit out of your head – looking back on my day, I should have done it this morning instead of waiting until tonight. We live and learn right?

The thing is, I want to vlog. For the same reason I love blogging, I want to try vlogging. I love  story and sharing. Vlogging adds my love of photography and movies, and I’m interested in learning video production. But I keep getting tripped up. My brain keeps saying … well, all the things above, and I feel as though my heart is being squeezed, my breath catches and I don’t do it.

I learned two things today to help me get through this block …

  1. From the above video – we all have different mental models and it’s about continually sharing our stories to share the mental models and experiences, promoting empathy and connection.
  2. From Pat Flynns Smart Passive Income Podcast episode 330 with Jadah Sellner, who says that there are no new messages, only new messengers.

I needed these signs so much right now. There will be a vlog coming from me soon, so make sure you hold me accountable won’t you?

It doesn’t matter that I’m not saying anything new. It’s my voice, and my story is what matters. And yours does too, so don’t shy away. Think about the stories you can share, and do it.

Tell me what your brain is saying to you today, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Share it, so we don’t feel so alone.